#40, Revenge: Oh, Etrius.
Originally posted here on January 25, 2022.
Do you have a grudge against anyone in your source? If you could meet them face to face, what would you do?
I've tried my hand at creative writing for this one. It works better than my usual clinical tone. Content warning for blood, violence, killing, betrayal, that kind of thing. Much of this is directed at "you" (that is, Etrius), so if that would bother you, stay away.
Oh, Etrius. Did you think it would never catch up to you?
Did you think that you could get away with it forever? No, don't run--oh, there you go, darting between the trees, your Celerity making you feel safe for as long as you keep moving. To be fast is to be strong, unseen, and unseen is to be strong, as well--it all comes back to strength, it always has, with us. You and your swords, your bluster, your loud voice and confident, sweeping hand gestures. It's all about looking strong.
It's not going to work out for you this time.
You were a plague upon me from the moment that you entered my life. You're lucky Tremere even bothered to rescue you, and I wish he never had--from the moment you stood before me, I hated you. You monopolized his time, sucked the energy from him like a leech. You were so self-righteous--"no, Goratrix, I know what I'm doing!", as if you weren't ten years my junior, as if I had no hope of being right. You were overcautious, too, somehow, always trying to stop me from experimenting, learning, or even helping, as if I couldn't handle myself. I had been his apprentice for years, you toad--and yet you acted like you knew more, like
I was the teenager that needed guidance, not you.
And over time, you turned them all against me. You opposed me at every fucking turn--oh, into the briar patch? You think you can outrun me there? That's cute. We're about the same age, have the same amount of time as vampires... but I'm more experienced. You've gotten soft, Etrius, sitting in Vienna all night, blustering about and battling the other Councillors for shreds of power over the clan, fighting like vultures over the pieces that Tremere left when Saulot pulled him into torpor.
You are the plague in the clan, not I: I never betrayed you, any of you. They betrayed me, at your behest.
You told them I killed Ponticulus intentionally. That I shattered our Avatars, intentionally. That I torpored Tremere, intentionally. What kind of idiots did you take them for,
and how stupid did they have to be to listen to you?
That's past, now. Oh, do you think I can't see you, trying to hide from me? That's cute. This is
my domain, Etrius--you've wandered into
my neck of the woods, and this time, Tremere isn't here to make me leave you alone. Do you know how much it hurt when he left me, because of what
you said? Do you know that it's
your fault that Calderon is dead? He was practically my brother, and
YOU made me kill him. It wasn't my choice--not mine, not his, not Tremere's. Yours. You lied to Tremere, told him that I was scheming against him, that I needed to be stopped, that I was a
traitor. Why? Because I was unpleasant to be around when I was younger? Because you hated my ambition, my drive, my rampant success and superior power?
Don't try to deny it. You're jealous of me. Every night of your life since we met, you have thought of me, hating me, obsessing over me. You bring me up unprompted, don't you? Often. You let me live in your mind, constantly. You feed me with your negativity, you
love me, love to hate me, love the
idea of me as something you can face and defeat.
But you won't, because I'm not letting you leave here alive.
All of the awful things I've done--the horrible, unspeakable acts I've committed... That's blood on your hands, not just mine. I accept what I've done: I know when I act against what is considered "good" by most, but it was necessary. Always necessary. The situation forced me, and, oh, I can't remember, who shaped the circumstances? Who put me in that situation?
Who, Etrius? Tell me. We don't have all night. The sun will rise eventually, and we have much to do.
You've never accepted responsibility. You act as if you are always right, at all times, that any who disagree with you couldn't possibly have a point. Why bother? Why spend so much time and energy on avoiding guilt when you could just
accept your monstrous nature, and let it take you where it must?
There is a reason that
I am hunting
you, not the other way around. While you fought to prove yourself worthy and holy, I honed myself into a weapon.
I intend to never die, but for you, time is running out.
Yes. You fear me, now. You won't admit that, either, but you do--you know you can't take me. You know that my mastery of Thaumaturgy is just
slightly better than yours, my spread of Disciplines and potency of powers
just better enough that you could never hope to win with anything but a cheap blow, a lucky hit.
Go ahead, if you can find me. Take your shot. But you'd better kill me the first time, because once combat is started, it won't end until one of us is dead. You won't take that risk, will you? You're too overcautious. You're too
careful. You won't take a risk you won't have to.
But that was your mistake. Acting against me, pissing me off, was the stupidest thing you could have done, and now, the young man you scorned has fangs and claws and isn't human at all, and he wants your blood on the ground and your head on a pike.
What's wrong, Etrius?
Are you afraid of the monster you made me?