The Draconic Wizard Workshop

Welcome! We are the Draconic Wizard Workshop, an alterhuman system of over 40 members. Here, you can find our collective writings and introductions.

Originally posted here on March 1, 2021.

I/we’ve got a lot of really scattered thoughts on the topic of otherkin/fictionkin, fictives, and how my/our system works, so I’m just going to compile a lot of it here and try to keep it vaguely organized. I’m curious to see if anyone else has any thoughts on any of this, which is part of why I’m posting it–other than that, “journaling is good” is a stance I’ve been trying to take recently.

This is not meant to be applied universally to other people, and is speaking strictly on my/our own experiences.

(Note: this is gonna get a little weird with the singular/plural pronouns and the first/third person, just roll with it, I’m more worried about my point getting across than figuring out how many of us are thinking something or who exactly is talking. There are six of us in here: Tanix (host, otherkin), Research (otherkin/fictionkin), Kyir (fictive), Valence (fictive), Aegis, and Null.)

It’s really interesting how differently Tanix and Research’s otherkinity presents and feels, and how Research’s contrasts to the experiences of the two fictives in the system, Kyir and Valence. Basically, it’s easy to find the end of Tanix-as-human (which is quite limited!) and where that’s distinct from Tanix-as-dragon and Tanix-as-deathclaw. Tanix is, and always has been, the host–the body no more “belongs” to him than anyone else, but he considers the body “his,” and how he looks as a human. The body represents his/my current, human life, as, I would assume, would make sense for many otherkin. (This isn’t universal, of course, but is my general understanding of other people’s experiences.)

Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, there are Valence and Kyir, who simply are those people/characters. Valence is Valence, always has been, always will be, just like Kyir is Kyir and that’s never changed, nor will it. Tanix was a dragon, Tanix was a deathclaw, and identifies as both now, but not as… fully, I suppose, as the other two do? There’s a lens of humanity between Tanix and the dragon and deathclaw identities, and while he/I fully are both, there’s still this sticky and inconvenient reality of being human now that gets in the middle of that. Kyir and Valence, meanwhile, don’t have any kind of interposing or inbetween identity–they popped into existence in the headspace fully formed as they are, quickly and easily identifiable as the characters that they are based on. They’ve always known who and what they are, while Tanix didn’t–he/I had to figure it out.

That’s already a big fucking mess, but it gets more confusing when you throw Research into the mix.

Research has recently learned that he’s fictionkin(d). Not a fictive. Fictionkin. Which, fair enough–he’s his own whole complete person, just happens to live in the same head as the rest of us, why shouldn’t he be able to be fictionkin, just like Tanix is dragonkin and deathclawkin? It’s all fair and reasonable until you take a look at how we each physically imagine ourselves in the headspace and it starts getting really screwy and weird.

Kyir looks like a mostly-human guy because that’s what the character looks like. Valence looks like a tiefling because, again, that’s what the character looks like. Aegis and Null look like a cyborg angel and a demon falling apart at the seams, respectively, simply because they Just Do. (They haven’t really delved into their personal identities in an alterhuman/nonhuman regard yet, so I won’t touch on them much right now.) Tanix appears as the body usually does, or as a dragon, or as a deathclaw. It depends on what kind of shift he’s in, if any, and sometimes it’s some kind of mix of the three. He doesn’t really spend a lot of time envisioning himself in the headspace like the rest of us/the others do, but regardless, he’s still pretty clearly Other, clearly alterhuman.

hen Research looks like a blond white guy in a labcoat, while his fictotype looks fairly different. He never, ever looks at all more like his fictotype. Tanix flickers between and rarely looks totally human when he bothers to imagine himself–so what gives with Research?

Well, frankly, we… don’t know. Like, obviously, he imagines himself to look a certain way because it Feels Right, but so does the appearance of his fictotype–but it just doesn’t Feel Right for the Here and Now.

Is this a common thing for fictionkin in systems? Is this a phenomenon largely based on the fact that I (Tanix) can’t ever seem to fully switch out of the front, making it harder for the others to feel like this body is also truly “theirs”? Is this an experience with a name?

In addition, it’s harder for him to find the line between Research-as-current and Research-as-Gordon, but, to be fair, he’s more recently Awakened than I am, he doesn’t have as solid of an idea of who he is (having existed in the headspace for far less time than I have), and his fictotype is a Sciency Human Man, as is he. Of course it’s hard to determine the difference between two fairly similar states of being! It’s easy to tell when I’m more or less reptilian/draconic, because that’s atypical for a human, but it’s harder to tell when he’s being more of a different science man when that’s pretty standard behavior for him already.

I don’t know! I felt like this was worth writing down. It made me rethink a bit of how I consider my own otherkinity: while I fully do identify as a dragon, as a deathclaw, there is a fundamental disconnect, or offset, between what I physically am and what I identify as-–I do have to view my otherkinity through a human lens due to being, on a physical level, human. Kyir and Valence don’t have that limitation, due to feeling more like they exist separate from the body and its humanity and just “help pilot the meat suit” (Kyir’s words, not mine) on occasion.

But then, Research, who arguably doesn’t have that limitation either, strictly considers himself to be fictionkin rather than a fictive, largely because he doesn’t Just Know Things about himself and has to work to figure it out like I do with my kintypes. He feels the disconnect between the Then and the Now, like I do, leaving him in this interesting state between how I see myself and how the fictives see themselves.